"If you feel like letting go, hold on...
If you think you've had too much of this life, hang on"
-R.E.M.

"Cause i know that we'll meet up again in forever..
Let me know you'll be waiting for me in the end"
-Chantal Kreviazuk

"Another mirage folds into the haze of time recalled...
And now the floodgates cannot hold...
All my sorrow, all my rage...
A tear drop falls on every page"
- David Gray

"I wish i could be every little thing you wanted all the time..
But i've got the strangest feeling that you've gone away."
-Dishwalla

"And even if the moment passed me by, i still can't turn away...
Don't it make you sad to know that life is more than who
we are?
I think about you all the time.."
-Goo Goo Dolls


"I can be losing sleep over this, no, i can't...
And now i cannot stop pacing...
Give me a few hours and i'll have this all sorted out...
If my mind would just stop racing...
Cause i cannot stand still...I can't be this unsturdy..
This cannot be happening..

This is over my head but underneath my feet..
Cause by tomorrow morning i'll have this thing beat..
And everything will be back to what it was...
I wish that it was just that easy...

Cause i'm waiting for tonight...
Then waiting for tomorrow...
And i'm somewhere in between what is real and
just a dream...."

He longs for solace to ease the pain within. He wishes he can hold on to something real to keep him sane. He wants to keep running but guilt and pain keeps blocking his way. He knows he is in a state of melancholy and he hates the fact that he is aware of it. He wishes they knew who he really was and not judge him for what they see. He's only hanging on because he believes there's still hope - for what he doesn't know. He's torn between living the truth and living in reality.He doesn't understand why he feels so much for someone he knows he can't have. He can't even define what the feeling is anymore. All he knows is that he is constantly moved and that the pain never fails to reach the very depths of his soul. He feels lost because he can't seem to stay in touch with reality anymore. The closer he gets to understanding himself, the further he drifts from the real world. He is slowly losing himself to a realm he has yet to understand. He can only watch as sanity slowly becomes defeated and insanity closes in to being triumphant.

Who Am I?

Whenever i look at myself at the mirror, all i see is a face, nothing more, nothing less. In spite of all my efforts to see beyond my reflection, i always end up just seeing what everybody sees every single day.

Why can't i seem to transcend from this seemingly superficial state i am in? Do i really have to take a good look at myself to know who i really am? All i know is that these kinds of questions will never cease to exist. I guess that's the reason why i can't seem to answer any of them. Or maybe it's because i really choose not to answer them just for the simple reason of prolonging the experience of discovering ones self.

There are a few moments in our life when we feel like we actually get ourselves. But ironically, just when we feel like everything makes sense or rather, WE seem to make sense, we non-chalantly brush it off as if it were just something trivial.

Human nature is just so unpredictable. We make it seem so easy to understand the world we're living in and the people that surround us. But why can't we seem to understand ourselves? I'm not really sure if a lot of people would agree with me if i said that the entire human population is still in the process of "finding themselves individually"

I have to admit though that i am a self-confessed fatalist and my belief in "lagnadan", which means "fate" in Nordic has tremendously altered my trail of thought. I'm not saying that i don't try to make my own destiny. In the words of Brandon Boyd, "fate is what we make of it" This completely contradicts my belief, yet i still find myself going back to this human vindication, which never seems to falter from time to time.

So who am i really? Are words really enough to answer such a question? I can only hope that they aren't because WHO WE REALLY ARE is the only real thing we can hold on to in this weary world that seems to live on the words we constantly keep using to make sense out of life.Words won't live through eternity.But we would want to believe that we can...

Opinion And Choice:
First of all, let's be honest with ourselves. Do we really believe in the cliche, "don't let what others think or say affect you"? Personally, i think the majority will agree that this question sets the bar on what kind of a person you are.Let's not deny it anymore.It's already human nature for a person to yearn to stand out.I mean, who wouldn't want to make a difference in this world? I'd have to assume that everyone in this world has that innate longing.

So what exactly am i trying to say? One word: OPINIONS. This seemingly insignificant word can make or break a person. Who would've thought words could actually be more painful than physical pain.But if we think about it real well, we'll realize that the worse kind of suffering is of the soul. There are remedies for almost all physical pains. But has anyone really found the cure for the ailing soul? Sure,the shrinks and counselors are always going to be there. Don't get me wrong though, i have nothing against them. In fact, i have so much respect for them and i have to admit that their work is truly a noble task. Anyway, let me get back on track. The bottom line is that opinions attack the soul. Be it a positive opinion or a negative opinion, it is almost inevitable for any person to get affected.

When we talk about opinions, we can't ignore the fact that we will always find ourselves in a position to choose. Choice: another powerful world. Through the course of history or shall we say, human existence, choice has been the "core" of every human being. It's one of the few things in life that can't be ignored. No matter how hard we try to run away from it or escape from it, it will always catch up with us in the end.If we think about it, opinions are in a way, products of of our choices. Unfortunately, no can control these choices. It's solely up to us. Even if we have our own influences and ideologies, it's still all up to use.

I don't really know how to end this without sounding like a preacher or a priest. It's funny how we try so hard not to sound like them when more often than not, their teachings are really the ones we look for in our lives. We just can't seem to succumb to the fact that they hold the "universal truths" of the world. But i guess that's just how some people are. Even if it's right infront of them already, they still choose to ignore it. But hey, it's really our choice. I can only hope that one day, humanity will realize the true essence of choice. It's really not just meant for ourselves. Choice is pretty much synonymous to "OTHERS" Most of us, even myself, may tend to forget about that. So to end this, let me ask you one last question: Is redemption still possible for humanity? (if this entry was as clear and concise as i wanted it to be,you'd be able to answer it)